The Journey of Selflessness.

Heres My(Ted) first blog!

There are many times I wonder what Jami and I are doing with our lives. I mean who wants to live off of a little bit of money, and barley make it by? Who wants to ... want  all the time? Really why Live this way? Why do what we do?

In the Fall of 2005 I did a Leadership school at YWAM Denver. In this school we were required to design a ministry program that would meet the needs of a people group. So I chose the homeless of Denver. After a little while of research i realized that there wasn't much information to be found. So i decided that the only way I'm going to find out there needs was to go and be homeless for a weekend. 

The night started out at the Hard Rock Cafe  for my friend Darren's birthday. Right after the party I said bye to my friends and walk of into the unknown of the Denver streets. I'll be honest i was pretty scared and i had no clue where to go or what to do. So i decided to sit next to some junkies who were playing guitar for a few bucks to get there next high. After a couple of hours of people watching the mall died way down....I knew what that meant..I need to find somewhere to sleep tonight. So I start off towards the main park right by the capitol building. As soon as i got to the park I knew i needed to find somewhere else. So i went to the library with the hopes of finding a little corner where i could find some sleep for the night.

I got to the library and found nothing but an older gentleman on a bench. He looked like he had been on the streets for a lifetime. His skin had the look of Dried leather. He had a smell of the streets that were trapped in his clothes who had not seen a washer in that last months. I knew I was here for this purpose so i sat down and started to converse with him. To be completely honest i don't remember his name, but I do remember his story...

The man had had a Family with a beautiful daughter in what seemed like a lifetime ago. But he explained that over time he had let the bottle get the best of him, and lost everything including his family. He had been in and out of prison and rehab facilities trying to get back where he was. But he found him self moving farther away from what use to be. Now here he was just out of prison  and once again drunk. 

So i felt i should share the hope of Jesus with him, and I did.

after letting me talk for a bit he turned to me and said " I know Jesus I met him this last time while being locked up, but I think he has forgotten about me."  "What do you mean?" I said. He went on to talk about how he had accepted Jesus in his heart and it seemed like life was new, and nothing could go wrong. Then the day he got out tried to get a hold of his daughter who now had a daughter of her own. But she refused to see him and just hung up on him. So he just walked to the local liquor store and drank the pain away. So he felt that Jesus just left him with no hope. I just naturally started to talk about the hope of the Lord and the great plans he had for this man. Then a passion just rose in the depths of me for this man. So i spoke with more emotion about the desire of Jesus for this man. All of sudden the man fell to his knees and started crying then he started to scream out to the Lord that he loved him and begged for forgiveness. As all this took place i started to weep and after 20 minutes we both were on our knees weeping at the beauty of the Lord. 

At that moment the man looked up with tears in his eyes and asked me if i would walk him to the detox center. I agreed and we started out on a walk that would change the way i thought about the purpose of my life. We walked on a very dangerous street by all walks of life. There were gangs of young men just sitting on the sidewalks and prostitutes walking the corners looking for that costumer that will get them off that corner. After a while of this we turned on a small little street and went down one block then we arrived. The man looked at me and said thank you. 

He was walking across the street when he suddenly just stopped and turned around. Under a bright street light he gave me a big smile and waved, and at that moment i knew God had done something. The man's face was different and he had a light in his eyes that hadn't before. God moved in this man's life!

 I saw the hope of humanity under That street light, and I knew that I could never live the same again. I knew I had to make a sacrifice for the people that Jesus loves so much! My life is not my own but its His. 

So that is why i do what i do.

In this I am not judging anyone in the way they live or what they have. I am just walking you through my thoughts and struggles at times. Be Blessed!

Ted